So lets get to the story of the Boogie Man at the Redneck Wedding.
Little boy Cooper is the son of the dad with the really bad hair cut. Cooper's hair wasn't any better. It wasn't shaved on top, but it was still a mullet. And imagine, this little boy talked with the thickest southern accent I've ever heard other than Paula Dean y'all.
After the ceremony was finished, the Groom, Derek and I went out back. When we stepped out the back door, Cooper and another little boy, that we'll call Michael since I don't know his real name, were out on the stoop. Cooper had gather all the electronic tea lights and stacked them on top of a 1/2 cement block. I asked what they were doing and Cooper said they were "camping". Okay. That's cute. I made the mistake of telling them to be careful that the Boogie Man doesn't get them.
It was obvious that Cooper had already been enlightened to the existence of the Boogie Man because he responded "We'll be okay. I've got muscles to fight him off." I told him to watch out cause the Boogie Man likes fire. He said ok and I walked over to where Derek and the Groom were standing across the drive from the building.
I told Derek that I was going to go "play" with the kids. So I walked back over to where Cooper was. I pretended that I had been running from the Boogie Man. Cooper got excited. "Where's he at?! Let's go get him!" So we started back over towards the trees. Cooper walking like he was about to whoop up on the Boogie Man. Derek and the groom were standing under the trees in all black. I said "Watch out! There's two of em!" Cooper was looking up in the trees, "WHERE?!"
Then someone stepped out the door and called for Cooper. I told him to go on, that I was gonna go find the Boogie Man. A few minutes later here he comes running back out there. I asked what he was doing and he said "I've come to protect you." "I've got my husband to protect me." He said," But I've got muscles." "My husband has muscles to. You need to go protect your friend so the Boogie Man doesn't get him." He said "You think? I'll go do that." He ran off.
Not even 5 minutes later, here comes Michael. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I want to see the Boogie Man." I told him that was a bad idea. "You know how to keep the Boogie Man away?" I asked. "No, how?" I picked up two sticks and clacked them together a couple of times. "You do that, and he won't come anywhere around you. Go show Cooper." So Michael went running back across the grass clacking the sticks together. We laughed our heads off.
So when we were going back inside, we got to the stoop and Cooper asked if I wanted to camp. I told him no but then I noticed a rope. "What's the rope for? You gonna string up the Boogie Man when you catch him?" Cooper said "No, we're fishing."
I looked at him. "With just a rope?" "Yeah." So I sat down on the edge of the stoop. I grabbed the rope and the longer stick that I had given Michael. Cooper watched me and asked what I was doing. I tied the rope to the stick. "I'm making a fishing pole." I took it and pretended I was casting it. Michael grabbed the end of the rope and said "You got a big one!!" So I pretended I was reeling it in and held up the line and said "Look at that one!! He's huge!" Cooper said, "Let me try." I handed him the "pole" and told him to have fun. I got up and went inside.
Never in my life have I been to a wedding and ended up pretend camping and fishing with a kid and his mullet. The things I do.In the spirit of the boogie man... here's a video!