I'm sorry...

I don't know what else to say. I'm so afraid that people are going to start blaming me for what happened. I know it's not my fault. The family invited me and my family to come to the funeral home and the funeral. I couldn't gather the will to go. I didn't want to have her image burned into my mind. I've already got the car and her in the car in my mind for the rest of my life.
Kaleena, a girl I know, came by work tonight. She knew Ashley. She told about how the little girl that was in the accident took the teddy bear that she got from the EMT and put it in there with Ashley. She was just telling me about the family and everything. I almost began crying right there at work. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. My dad went to the funeral home and said that the mom was leaning over and brushing her hair with her hand and what not. :*( It's going to be hard, but I know it's going to be even harder for that family. I feel selfish for even feeling bad for me. They have it so much worse.
I don't want to be alone in this time because I start replaying what happened and thinking about Ashley. I didn't even know her, but I'm crying for her. I guess it's a better thing to go ahead and cry and mourn.
I know there is a reason that this happened and we'll know it when it happens. I was 3 seconds from being the one who died. Vanessa, the little girl wasn't restrained. It's a miracle that she didn't get even a scratch.
I don't know what else to say without sounding insensitive and selfish. I don't want to do either because I am so sorry for what happened.